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How Can We Heal From Loss?
Part Three on Loss
?There is no real way to deal with everything you lose.?
Joan Didion
, from an interview in the San Francisco Chronicle, January 6, 2004.
My view of loss looks at four areas.
People: Spouse or partner
, a child or parent, a long time friend. It may be a single loss or the build up of losses over time.
Place: Your place of comfort ? of home.
Things & Roles: Possessions treasured for the memories they hold; things we associate with people we love. We also lose our roles and jobs.
Self: This may be a feeling of having no purpose, or it may be a feeling that you missed something that would have led to happiness. We also lose our self in a direct way as we age. And for some we lose aspects of ourselves prematurely to disease. How are we affected?
I see four principle ways or areas of impact.
Physically: We neglect our self; we care less about and for our physical well-being. Disease and age also produce loss within and upon our bodies.
Emotionally: We may withdraw from other. We may lash out.
Mentally: We may deaden our mind and avoid thinking or
remembering in any number of ways. Our thoughts may turn negative
, always seeing more loss in the future.
Spiritually: There may be a drawing away from beliefs long held or there may be a desire to find a new belief.
Will everyone respond the same way to loss? No, however most of us will respond in some negative or self defeating way for some period of time.
New tactics
How do you make a shift to heal from loss? How can you re-start your life? Here are a few suggestions.
1) Take time to look closely at your situation. Assess your response to the particular loss. What are you feeling right now as you consider this? What are you doing differently now or not doing? If you are looking at life-long loss; then try to look at how this has affected your actions and thinking.
2) Take time to think about how you would want your life to be different. Changes you want to see in the future. What would a re-started life look like? Make a list. Be specific. Do it now.
? Fritz M. Brunner, Ph.D. 2005
Things have changed quite a bit since 9232010 in terms of options available for people who are unable to qualify based on health so it's probably time for a refresher what what's available on the California health insurance market. The landscape is always changing with 2014 being the dramatic market shift but let's address what's available until then.
So let's start with situation where you are unable to qualify for individualfamily insurance doe to pre-existing health issues. We'll walk you through the options the we usually would on the phone with a client or visitor to the site. People who need coverage usually fall into three categories. They are either losing group coverage or exhausting Cobra (which is continuation of group health insurance); moving to the State from another State and need to purchase California health coverage; andor they have been uninsured for some time. The scenario you fall in can affect which way to go.
Let's first look at the CobraGroup group of people. First
, let's say that you should never lose your Cobra or Group option until you have confirmation of approval with another adequate plan. Do not assume you can qualify and cancel or lose Cobra. You typically have 62 days to elect Cobra from your last date of group health insurance. After that 62 days, the Cobra option disappears. At the end of Cobra, you may have another 18 months called a Cal-Cobra extension. Check with your HR department or carrier to see if there's a Cal-Cobra extension. This would usually take you 36 months out in terms of total Cobra. Keep in mind that Cobra only exists if the group plan exists. If the company shuts down or closes the group plan (not replace but shuts down)
, then Cobra also goes away. Cobra is usually expensive so most people try to avoid it but you don't want to lose the option. Either secure other health insurance first or at least get back the declination before the 62 day window. If you're exhausting Cobra or in certain cases, losing Cobra involuntarily (as in company closing example above), you may have a HIPAA option with also has the 62 day window (from last date of Cobra or group coverage if shutting down). There are some other requirements but our main message is not to lose these options.
What if you had coverage and are moving to the State but are unable to qualify for California health insurance? That's a little trickier. Check to see if your prior health carrier as any kind of transfer option or plan. Some Anthem carriers in other states have these set-ups. Health insurance is still State by State which can make things difficult when you move across .
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